"The world is too big," she said, "but that doesn't mean we stop searching."
Nine months ago today, I said yes to an invitation to be part of what I have always envisioned myself to be involved in when I realised I was going to go to law school -- environmental law and human rights work. Heartbreaks, frustrations, more than one disappointment, and almost a year later, I still… Continue reading S p e s
There is no truth more universally acknowledged than the fact that time flies -- months skip, weeks jump, days whizz by. And today, inconspicuously (or, rather, due to the flurry of events catching us unawares), we were ushered into the first of the last month of the decade. And all of us was none… Continue reading Ending’s beginning/Beginning’s end
The mind, he said, the tip of his pen drumming against his temple, likes to be in control. Whenever it can't control external things, this time he places his pen down and gestures with a wave of his right hand, it tries to control from the inside. I was 19 in a counselor's office, and for the… Continue reading [Untitled]
It hasn't been good lately. No, scratch that. It hasn't been good for a while. And every time I look out and am reminded of how much worse everything might be for others, I tell myself, maybe it actually has been good lately. But when I get home to my empty… Continue reading It hasn’t been good lately
I haven't written in forever. I mean, of course I have. Of course I've lifted a pen and doodled mindlessly, of course I've opened my laptop and written more deliberately -- articles of the academic kind, op-eds and such, of course I've been on Twitter and have let loose strings of thought that I… Continue reading How are yous and I am fines
Grief is such an odd thing, no? At any point during the day I could come across plenty of dogs, and I'd feel a tinge, but nothing too debilitating. If the sun's not too harsh and the owner is friendly enough, I'd even kneel in front of the dog to give him/her a pat. Probably… Continue reading Fin
Oftentimes when I reflect on the past year, I allow in my arsenal two things: a mind map, and an optimism to search for bright spots. For last 2018, both were unnecessary, because as it turns out, some years are just worse off than others. Rudimentarily, there were good times: falling in love and graduating… Continue reading The year that was
It's been exhausting being Filipino recently. One would think one would get numbed by the flurry of events: by incandescent words thrown almost blindly by the man the plurality made ruler, by disposed bodies of the unfortunate, by the crumbling institutions. I wish I'd just be numbed. Yet I'm glad I feel every bit of… Continue reading When bleak is bleakest
You think I don’t know what it’s like to not be beautiful? You speak like you do. You talk like you know of my struggles, like you’ve faced my pain, like you have witnessed me hunched over a toilet seat, a toothbrush dangling lazily from my lips, and not because I used it to clean… Continue reading Johari Window
Sitting in the car with the windows half-open, the muggy Manila air half-choking us with the heavy weight of smog, I turned to you, stared at your face half-asleep, and asked, "Are you happy?" In the only way you know how, you pressed the palms of your hand on your eyes, and you replied,… Continue reading A little less happy, a little more joyful: Christmas 2017
Of perpetual finds 