I have had an emotional day, and it's barely 1 PM. Over class today, we talked about climate affect, how emotions are political, and how we can together start thinking of envisioning a better world. Often thinking about the world ending can be paralysing -- often I find myself on the other end of questions… Continue reading Hope persisting
Category: Personal
The only way to know is through knowing
I haven't written in a while. Haven't had the headspace nor the time, the words nor the heart to write. But this is for you, wherever in the world you are, written with the deep desire to let you know, because you should: the only way to know is through knowing. Recently I've been into… Continue reading The only way to know is through knowing
brave heart
thank you for waiting for me, and for teaching me that patience is love. honestly, you really didnt have to, and im sorry im sorry im sorry if waiting for me meant prolonging the pain (though its still fucking unfair youre so resilient, so fucking unfair i didnt realise you were in pain until it… Continue reading brave heart
It’s cloudy tonight
I think I've been doing it for close to a decade now? Finding a comfortable spot outdoors, pouring myself a glass of wine (or a cup of hot chocolate), and staring at the stars in the late hours of the night on two occasions: the Perseids, most visible during August, and the Geminids, which appear… Continue reading It’s cloudy tonight
ETA: whenever’s serendipitous
The biggest takeaways, I think, for my 26th year (and the first half of 2021 -- overlapping save for 6 days), are these: time is weird, but/and you'll know when you're ready. It's not been a secret how horrible last year was, for everyone. The world came to a halt even as infections increased, and… Continue reading ETA: whenever’s serendipitous
This isn’t anything, right?
The first time you told me you dreamt of me after I told you I dreamt of you, I thought -- well, it can't be anything, right? We've just been talking fairly constantly, our ears extensions of each other's mouths (or, more accurately, our fingers connected at the tip as we talk and talk and… Continue reading This isn’t anything, right?
Updates:
Life has been a series of grim events lately -- more black than white, less light and more shadows: creeping, lurking, just waiting to pounce. I have not been in a while but recently I have been even less so: happy. I miss conversations, hugs, and music that I share with friends over beer, or… Continue reading Updates:
Happy to be here
In deep contrast to usual new year's eve festivities, last year (because we've officially transitioned to 2021) was the first time I never even came close to considering writing a post to celebrate the year that was. And what for? With countless natural disasters, a piling death toll, an increasingly authoritarian regime, a global pandemic,… Continue reading Happy to be here
Mama’s first love
I'm never going to be ready for this conversation. It's the last day of the year and while people are quietly celebrating their victories and successes (the same thing I have tried to do that fateful day -- Instagram's Post a Picture/Video trend was a great way to look back to the last year and… Continue reading Mama’s first love
Choosing courage
One of the first things I usually tell potential dates is this -- that I am afraid of the dark. Most times it is the benign fear that accompanies not knowing, and some times it's a more paralysing fear, the fear that accompanies nightmares, and trauma, and anxieties come to life; often it is met… Continue reading Choosing courage
Of perpetual finds 