When I was younger, I was told that all I had to do was my best; that if I poured out my all, then things would be mine. That if I worked hard, and kept my head low, and made the right calls, then the right choices would find their way to me. Life, I've… Continue reading The burden of choice
Author: Joy
Protected: ke-zon see-tee
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Just right
Almost a decade ago, way before I understood what having ADHD meant, or really, what it was and how it applied to me, I wrote about the Goldilocks conundrum -- about not feeling quite right. Of feeling too big for some things (hence the propensity for running away or clamping my mouth or policing my… Continue reading Just right
Now is always a good place to start
and here's always a good time. And despite my seeming lack of understanding of spatio-temporalities, the linguistic choice was intentional -- the point is stark, and actually overly simple: it's always okay to start again. I went to Belfast because I needed some reprieve from what has been the most difficult month of my life… Continue reading Now is always a good place to start
When fighting means rest
Earlier today I posted two stories on my Instagram account, two incredibly dualistic, yet important facets of what it's like to work in the climate justice sphere: It has been a whirlwind of a summer, which has brought me to 5 different countries, and has allowed me to work with a wide array of individuals… Continue reading When fighting means rest
The climate crisis and what we owe each other
(Rappler now has a paywall/a sign-in requirement so I'm reposting this here because I believe so hard in widening the reach. This was originally posted in October 2023.) I’ve been in Edinburgh for close to two months now, and despite its beauty, being outdoors has been slowly losing its appeal. I went for a 10-km… Continue reading The climate crisis and what we owe each other
Hope persisting
I have had an emotional day, and it's barely 1 PM. Over class today, we talked about climate affect, how emotions are political, and how we can together start thinking of envisioning a better world. Often thinking about the world ending can be paralysing -- often I find myself on the other end of questions… Continue reading Hope persisting
[9] TW: self-harm, ideations
It took 9 years. 9 years of initial assessments that were never followed through, of months of observations that did not evolve into diagnoses, of lows of incomprehensible depth and of highs that took me out and gave me enough hope only to have me go deeper again. When my therapist this morning said that… Continue reading [9] TW: self-harm, ideations
The only way to know is through knowing
I haven't written in a while. Haven't had the headspace nor the time, the words nor the heart to write. But this is for you, wherever in the world you are, written with the deep desire to let you know, because you should: the only way to know is through knowing. Recently I've been into… Continue reading The only way to know is through knowing
brave heart
thank you for waiting for me, and for teaching me that patience is love. honestly, you really didnt have to, and im sorry im sorry im sorry if waiting for me meant prolonging the pain (though its still fucking unfair youre so resilient, so fucking unfair i didnt realise you were in pain until it… Continue reading brave heart
Of perpetual finds 