When I woke up today, I fumbled blindly for my phone, guided only by the alarm emanating from it. 6:32 AM, it probably read, a result of my inability to set alarms where the minutes are multiples of 5. I finally found it, hidden under a pile of pillows; before I pulled it out, I exhaled loudly, the kind that is accompanied by not realising you were actually holding your breathe in, and found myself thinking, “I hope it’s November 8 today.”
2 days ago.
2 days ago, when the Supreme Court didn’t yet release its decision on the legality of the burial of a former dictator in the Heroes’ Cemetery. 2 days ago, when the most powerful person in the world was not a person fueled by hate and distrust.
Because then maybe, if I woke up today, and today was November 8, then maybe we can change things.
But, and as things are wont to happen, today’s not November 8.
—
It’s been 2 days, and it’s been 2 days of fear and trepidation for what’s to come. It’s been 2 days of uncertainty, and worrying over friends met and their safety. It’s been 2 days of poring over the law books that’s been accumulated the past few years and thinking if it’s worth it, if it matters still.
During much of these past two days, I’ve learned it does.
—
Yesterday, while crying for the umpteenth time about the feeling of helplessness one can only get when you see the world you believe in slowly change, I came across a Harry Potter scene that’s escaped my mind for a while.
Remember that part in the Death Hallows, when Voldemort gave Harry an hour to surrender? Harry crept up to Neville who was then bending over a body. He told Neville of the plan to kill Nagini; that Neville should do it should Ron or Hermione be too busy to do so, to which Neville assented. Before he made to leave, Neville asked Harry if he were alright, and Harry said yes.
Finally, Neville grabbed hold of Harry and said, “We’re going to keep fighting, Harry. You know that, right?”
And Harry, his heart suffocated by the feelings threatening to engulf him completely, failed to give him a reply.
—
I guess this is where we are, in this junction in our lives.
—
To you, whoever you are, I hope this gives you the will to fight; for the good things — for democracy, for peace, for unity. I hope this gives you the will to listen, and to listen closely. I hope this gives you the will to love.
It’s been a tough week, and it will get tougher. There will be days where clouds are darker than they are, and nights where the moon is far off sight.
On those days, let’s continue to fight. And listen. And learn. And love.
And maybe someday, we can make things right again.
Of perpetual finds 